ARE YOU REALLY AN ADULT OR A TEENAGER?

Many parents complain about their teenage children. They say they are "immature," that they "refuse to grow up" and "how can I give them freedom if they do not earn my trust?" But curiously, and increasingly, I observe that what they complain about, they themselves lack. I have seen women who have decided to end their marriages on the grounds that "he does not know what it is to be responsible"; and men who say of their women "she is 40 years old but she behaves as if she were 20".

So I gave myself the task of writing this article in order to elucidate what it means to be an adult, and how can someone work those aspects where he is failing in order to personally improve and fully fulfill the various roles they chose, especially in Regarding your relationships with others.

Let's begin by describing adulthood as  the stage in which a person has already reached full development and maturity. So we refer to those who already grew in stature what should and whose organs and systems already reached the anatomical fullness. But that is not everything. From the psychological point of view, an adult is a person who exhibits some distinctive signs in terms of their behavior and decision-making process.

And what are these signs?

• Knows that he is the absolute responsible for his life. Nobody but him is responsible for what he has and what he does not have. He has created his current situation for what he has done or has not done. Your reality is the result of the decisions you have made, whatever the environment and the circumstances that you lived. He does not take anything for granted, or thinks that others owe him, so when he receives something he knows how to thank.

• Strives to give things their fair value. Humility develops in a degree parallel to maturity. Humility is not thinking less about oneself. It is thinking of yourself less. Mature people do not consume themselves by drawing attention to themselves. They see how others have contributed to their success and they can even sincerely honor that being that transcends them. This is the opposite of arrogance.

• Look for balance when making decisions. Mature people live according to their values. They have principles that guide their decisions. They analyze the different alternatives and look for the one that best suits them to solve their problems or improve their environment. They take into account their intuition and their emotions, but also consider the related information and the possible affected. They can progress beyond simply reacting to life's choices.

• Knows to assign to each thing its just value. Without falling into extremes, a mature person knows that the world does not revolve around it and that in the family and in society everyone occupies a place. There is an order for everything and she respects it. He knows how to overcome his own desires to also meet the needs of others.

• Does not act impulsively. Connect with your wisdom and seek advice before acting, if necessary. He knows he does not have all the answers. The more wise they become, the more they realize that they know less. They are not ashamed to seek the advice of other adults (teachers, parents, coaches) or from different sources. Only the wise seek wisdom.

• Is capable of maintaining long-term commitments. A key sign of maturity is the ability to delay gratification. Part of this means that it fulfills its commitments even when these are already devoid of the emotionality that the novelty brings. An adult can commit to continue doing the right thing even when they do not feel like it.

• They are sure of their identity. They can receive praise or criticism without letting it harm them or creating a distorted view of themselves in them. As people mature, sooner or later they understand that nothing is as good or as bad as it seems and that everything has a solution. An adult knows who he is and what he wants from life.

• Communicates assertively, avoiding psychological games. An adult values ​​character, inner strength, knowledge and everything he has achieved. He does not go through life seeking to generate pity; On the contrary, as the responsible being that he is, he will defend his dignity and integrity if necessary. He has developed effective tools to survive independently in the material, mental and spiritual environment, without the need to use, manipulate or harm others.

We hope with this brief description, to satisfy doubts about what adulthood means, in order that you can reinforce your character and guide the children around you.